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The Stargazer Vol 4, Iss 4
THE News for the Dragon Quadrant
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Your UDA news source, quarterly news journal.
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The 8th Day of Trest, Year 3513. | Sponsored by TriTeq Industries, Inc.
Issued on December 30, 2000 RL Time. | "When you want the best, get Teq."
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In this issue:
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TOP NEWS
HOSTILE DRONES INVADE DRAGON QUADRANT
SOLAR FLARES CAUSES NETWORK BLACKOUT
UDA News
UDA Cadet Training Sim Unveiled
Business Universe
RMC continues to Dig up Gold
Cutting Edge
Welcome to the Underground: Erinyes Gets Security Update
Letter to the Editor
Church? Scientist?
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TOP NEWS
========
HOSTILE DRONES INVADE DRAGON QUADRANT
-------------------------------------
Planetary governments and the UDA were at a loss to explain the sudden
appearance of hostile reconnaissance drones appearing out of jagged rifts
all over the Dragon Quadrant. At a press conference today, Chief of
Security Hartero Kwasnye read from a prepared statement, "The source of
these hostiles is confirmed as alien to the Dragon Quadrant. The UDA and
all planetary defenses have been put on full alert until data becomes
available to analyze this threat. We ask the public to try as much as
possible to go about their lives as normal but to maintain a heightened
alertness at all times. Sapphire Dragon Outpost will remain open, but we
have contingency plans for a lockdown should it become necessary." The
Chief took no questions.
DranTran Travel reported a 40% drop in ticket sales since the first
sightings and is expected to post a fourth quarter sales drop by 25
credits per share. Dranor could not be reached for comment.
-Myren Noramo
UDA Newswire
SOLAR FLARES CAUSES NETWORK BLACKOUT
------------------------------------
Researchers at Kyrin Moor were without network access for 72 hours
last week when the Minoricean sun began giving off an extraordinarily
sized set of flares from its surface. The electromagnetic pulses from
these flares wiped out the only UDA Network relay satellite in the
region. Infoteq, the CEO of Triteq Industries, Inc., the provider of UDA
network satellites, had this to say. "Normally our satellites are well
protected by a layer of anti-EMF shielding. In this case the shielding
was compromised, leaving the satellite vulnerable to the flares."
Whether the shielding was compromised by a micrometeorite or deliberate
sabotage is the subject of a joint investigation between TriTeq and UDA
Security. In the mean time the satellite was quickly replaced, and the
Kyrin Moor researchers are negotiating a contract for a second satellite
to provide them with a redundant connection. "When we set up the colony
originally, we felt that a single connection made the most economic sense.
Now that we are larger and there is more reliance on the UDA network, we
need the added security of a redundant connection," commented the Colony
Director who added, "Clearly, this incident shows us that we need to pay
closer attention to our network infrastructure."
The redundant satellite will be installed by the end of the week.
-Index dahtHtml
UDA News
========
UDA Cadet Training Sim Unveiled
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RedKnight Technology proudly unveiled their first training simulation
today, the RedKnight Academy. To meet the specifications of its first
UDA defense contract, the subsidiary of RedCo gathered some of the
brightest strategic minds in the galaxy to create a state-of-the-art
training simulation designed to educate new recruits and to test their
mettle. The program simulates a Training Ground spread out over four
large buildings and gives recruits the opportunity to learn and succeed
with the goal of becoming a RedKnight Cadet. RedKnight Technology is a
wholly owned subsidiary of RedCo. This sim marks a first for UDA which
has, in the past, only contracted services from TriTeq.
-P.R. Bot 4000
===== Advertisement =====
Welcome to the Church of Genie, Scientist. This is the religeous
organization you have been looking for all you life. Why? We have
no rule, no code, and do not subscribe to any diety at all. We are
only interested in making money. Our saints are Washington, Lincon,
Jackson, Franklin, and anyone else whose picture appears on our
sacred scripture.
Money is what saves. The more you give, the closer you come to your
final destination; be it Heaven, Nirvana, The Happy Hunting Grounds,
or Over the Rainbow. It doesn't matter WHERE you want to go, it is
only by donating large sums of cash to the Genie Remort Fund that
you can hope to get there.
We are the only 'religeous' organization (a very LOOSE term at
best) to give it to you strait. Oh, others might try and make you
feel guilty by posting pictures of starving kids to get some sort
of empathic reaction, but not us. We tell you strait out that we
want your cash, and can guarentee your 'salvation' (whatever you
think it is) by giving it to us. Yes, that's right...Salvation or
TRIPLE your money back!
To make it seem like we have some sort of religeous base, at all,
we do offer some 'rites' and 'sacred needs' to you, but if you
just want to give to us and not bother with the claptrap, we like
that even better.
Make all checks payable to: Reverend Genie
===== Advertisement =====
Business Universe
=================
RMC continues to Dig up Gold
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In recent months Raleth Mining Corporation started a mining operation in
the asteroid belt of Epsilon Minoric. At first widely criticized by the
organization CRITTERS, the Coalition to Realize Interstellar Transracial
Terraforming Endeavors in Remote Systems sponsored by the infamous Immortal
Domino, they later accepted RMC's invitation to participate in the planning
and development of the operation. "Raleth's commitment to the preservation
of the environment in and around the asteroid belt has been spectacular,"
Domino reported at a recent press conference on the state of the operation,
"We couldn't have asked for better cooperation."
Crystal Ikens, head of Administrations for RMC's Alpha Base, followed up,
"If we discover anything alive out there, we will certainly cease operations
immediately and make every effort to assist CRITTERS analyst teams," smiling
Ikens continued, "We're only interested in the minerals."
The press conference went on to detail the financial results for the
current fiscal year. RMC's record earnings have been in large part due to
the open contracts they use to obtain their minerals. Instead of using 100%
RMC employees for the mining, they have opened up the mines to anyone with
a sonic drill and the willingness to dig. "These open contracts allow us to
keep costs down while at the same time keeping up with the demand of our
customers," commented Ikens. RMC stock surged 15% to 85 1/2 credits per
share in after-hours trading on the earnings release.
Would-be miners and others are welcome to visit the station. A shuttle
from Ruby Dragon Outpost has been provided at Shuttle Bay H.
-Leidar Minllen
Cutting Edge
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Welcome to the Underground: Erinyes Gets Security Update
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In a flash-message from an undercover operative on Erinyes, it seems that
security measures have been relaxed. Researching further, it appears as
though Altairn corporate cartel spending in both Off-world Security and
Intelligence/Surveillance have led to a significant decrease in on-world
security staffing. Synergy Logic Solutions Inc., the largest entity on
Erinyes, has been the business most impacted by this downturn. Capone
Synergy, CEO of SLS Inc, could not be reached for coherent comment and
threatened this reporter's life as well as several bloodlines worth of
relatives.
The Stargazer operative on Erinyes also noted new "services" appearing
that were not available under the previous oppressive security regime.
For those thinking that Erinyes might be the place to fund early
retirement due to less security and new opportunities be warned - the
new regime is just as oppressive as the old. Just not as visible.
The world of Erinyes is serviced by DranTran. Located in the ever popular
Tor system, shuttle stop Beta Tor.
-Harlequin
DDO Newswire
Letter to the Editor
====================
In an unusual development, the Editor received a letter concerning an
advertisement that was scheduled to be printed in this issue. In the
interest of all voices being heard, here is that letter:
Church? Scientist?
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In these troubled times, crackpot organizations thrive like dandelion weeds
in the sidewalk cracks. We here at PERKY (People Everywhere Ridiculing
Kwirky Yahoos) would like to share a warning with you concerning this new
pseudo-religious organization calling themselves "Church of Genie,
Scientist".
First of all, the Church part... churches usually have some basis in
history, a tradition dating back thousands of years. While this is not a
requirement, we here at PERKY really feel any church worth it's salt should
be able to spell "religious" and "deity" correctly at the very least. Also
if they're going to play with the big boys of high financial theology, they
should either learn to spell Lincoln correctly or be satisfied with simpler
words like "credits".
Second, the Scientist part...the point of this organization seems to be
focused on large donations to its coffers in return for an eternal reward.
Now everyone knows that scientists never ever promise results, it gets in
the way of flying off to exotic conference locations and putting their
names on the papers their grad students write so they can achieve the
mystic state of tenure.
Reading between the lines, we find the truth in her own words...she is
"very LOOSE" and states she is looking for someone who will be "giving it
to [her]". Well, you can't make a purse out of a pig's ear nor can you
disguise a strumpet with prophet's clothing. Everyone is quite aware of
Genie's reputation here as the Sex Monster (tm) and the phrase "sacred
needs" is a dead giveaway.
PERKY suggests that you keep your money (after all, this is Dragons' Star,
not the Mustang Ranch) and instead give Genie a little of your "personal"
time. (Offer null and void if you are any type of dragon: fractal, linear
or otherwise.)
-Pain
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When reached for comment, the Reverend Genie had this to say, "I deny
such quotes. The money would be put to the Church's work, and since you
obviously spend $3.95 on a Mocha Frappaccino at Starbucks then I can get
the change."
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Editorial Staff
Editor: Zephyr
Publishers: Infoteq, Trillian, Dranor
Reporters: Index dahtHtml, P.R. Bot 4000, Leidar Minllen
Guest Reporters: Myren Noramo, Harlequin
Please direct all comments to: Stargazr@dracon.net
If you wish to become a part of the Stargazer staff, please send email to:
Stargazr@dracon.net with the subject: "Stargazer Staff Application".
Please include a sample of writing over 100 words in length.
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