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The Stargazer Vol 3, Iss 3
THE News for the Dragon Quadrant
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Your UDA news source, quarterly news journal.
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The 17th Day of Quinque, Year 3476. | Sponsored by TriTeq Industries, Inc.
Issued on September 30, 1999 RL Time.| "When you want the best, get Teq."
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In this issue:
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TOP NEWS
SYNERGY PROMISES TO CLEAN UP STREETS
UDA News
Whizkid Fnord Releases Latest Sim Offering
Business Universe
Bank of the Dragon Commissions Market Survey
Nexus Corp. Offers One for Two Trade in Stock Offering
Cutting Edge
Bounce, Inc. Announces Everlast, Inc. Subsidiary
Xenoculture
Anthropologists re-discover the "Picnic"
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TOP NEWS
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SYNERGY PROMISES TO CLEAN UP STREETS
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Speaking today through his personal secretary and trainer, Capone Synergy
announced a new initiative to revitalize Beta Tor. Citing an abnormal rise
in crime and depravity since establishing the headquarters of Synergy Logic
Solutions in the capitol city of Erinyes, the release blamed, among other
things, the intensification of violence on the streets to "wandering punks"
and "strung-out drug addicts".
Sources inside Altairn politics suspect, however, that the initiative may
be just another Synergy stratagem to bring more government contracts to the
already swollen SLS coffers. Funding solutions to the dilemma were not
forthcoming.
SLS stocks still languish from the adverse publicity of the corporate
relocation. The suit brought against Synergy and SLS by the CRITTERS group
has been appealed to the Altairn High Directorate. The suit, brought late
last year, charges that SLS displaced an indigenous population of minotaur-
like beings. SLS contends that the CRITTERS suit is malicious prosecution
in retribution for SLS Operatives beating CRITTERS to the punch cataloguing
the Tor System. A decision is expected early next year.
-Judas N. Argwuffle
UDA Newswire
UDA News
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Whizkid Fnord Releases Latest Sim Offering
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After a summer of coding and much anticipation, the simulation of the
Toronnan Combine's Rebellion Forces has been expanded to include a mission
recreating the special-ops raid on the K'sh'likti ship _Crimson Thursday_
during the Second Battle of Geogii.
In this spectacular raid, a team of six special-ops soldiers from the
Toronnan Special Forces, led by Lieutenant Olive Helena, covertly boarded a
K'sh'likti command dreadnought, assassinated her commander, and neutralized
the central fleet communications systems. This raid was pivotal in the
Rebellion repelling the K'sh'likti invasion force from Geogii, the last
Toronnan world.
"This simulation should give the same experience and feel as actually being
there," said Fnord, after finishing up a long series of minor tweaks on the
code. "Of course, it's a sim, so you won't die when you lose a clone. And
that's good, because I expect a lot of dying," Fnord commented with a hint
of mischief. "Olive Helena was War Incarnate! I suggest you take more than
six people in a team when you try to run this sim." He paused for a moment,
collecting his thoughts, then added, "Oh, and the best tactic is not 'Get
him!!'"
To run the second mission, you must first complete the first mission. Once
you've completed the first mission, take the items off the last enemy and
present them to the receptionist in the main Rebellion base, who will
request a promotion from headquarters. Every team running the Crimson
Thursday raid sim must include at least one Rebellion soldier of Corporal
rank or above.
-Flinn
DDO Newswire
Business Universe
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Bank of the Dragon Commissions Market Survey
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Following close on the heels of its recent expansion, the Bank of the
Dragon announced today that it would be commissioning a market survey to
study the feasibility of expanding its customer base. "We have, as a matter
of tradition," said Bank Rep Rebma Newroc, "dealt strictly with individual
accounts, stressing personal service to beings all across the quadrant.
But we believe our patrons would be well served," he added, "by expansion
into accounts that would improve our lending base while retaining the
security of our deposits. This survey should give us a good idea of growth
direction."
-Leidar Minllen
Nexus Corp. Offers One for Two Trade in Stock Offering
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As anticipated for several months, a press release from Nexus Corp.
confirmed that it will buy Rednunwod Entertainment Studios in a cash and
stock deal valued at 345 billion credits. Analysts were not taken unawares
by this move as RES revenues had been falling for some time. The release of
Nexus Corp.'s expansion module of the Toronnan Combine's Rebellion sim
moved their stock into a cash position to make the stock deal a certainty.
-Nek D'log
UDA Newswire
Cutting Edge
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Bounce, Inc. Announces Everlast, Inc. Subsidiary
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What began four years ago with a breakthrough in DNA manipulation by
Dr. Niqkolhas M. Agrumius has reached its zenith with the grand opening
of Everlast, Inc. on Friday morning. Everlast is a subsidiary company of
Bounce, Inc. - the corporation who bought us the popular Hundred Acre
Woods simulation.
"We're happy to be open to business," said David Harcengreun, Marketing
Manager and PR Director for Everlast, Inc. on Friday before the opening.
"It's a pleasure to be able to bring such a comfort to the aging
populations of all races." Young Harcengreun is referring to the special
service that Everlast offers its patrons. "The implementation of
rejuvenation and longevity in anything but theory has been a long, long
time coming," said Tilene, a Technician at the UDA based store, when asked
about Everlasts' service. "Frankly I feel honored to be able to bring the
service to the Quad."
For those who have not been keeping an eye on current public debate in the
quadrant, Everlast, Inc. is a clinic which specializes in the reversal of
aging. The technology to simply 'reverse' aging is incredibly complex and
was perfected by the late Doctor Agrumius. While for centuries there have
been so called 'elixir's of youth,' it was only in recent years that
serious scientific speculation was given to the art of reversing aging. "In
the past," Dr. Agrumius said at a conference last Quinque, "all immortality
research has been in the field of life extension. This is only thinking in
one dimension. Why should we limit ourselves to that?"
"For hundreds of years man has searched for the Holy Grail--the cup which
brings eternal life. Now anyone can drink of it," Harcengreun said in sound
bytes just before the store opened. "For a small fee of course."
It appears, however, that not everyone is thrilled by the opening of the
store at the United Dragon Alliance station. Both the Head Protector of
the Luischawn monks and Circle of Elders of the Shyvquoez druids have
issued press release statements denouncing both Everlast and Bounce, Inc.
for flagrantly violating the natural code. "We have, for centuries, tried
to protect the natural environment on both Khanvar and now Khystarn,"
Chrisenauna Cobsengal said at a protest held last Thursday. "The violation
of such a basic law, one which binds all things in the universe together,
is a very grave mistake."
"We're not breaking the laws of nature. We're just bending them a little,"
Harcengreun said when we asked him for a response to the above accusations.
"We still can't make someone live forever." Current estimates and white
papers put a maximum limit on 100 years of extension. When we asked
Harcengreun why only 100 years could be 'rejuved,' he responded that the
technology does not yet exist to extend beyond the given range. "We
continue to research where the ingenious Dr. Agrumius began, working
always to extend and perfect his process as much as we can," Harcengreun
replied. "When we have the ability to go beyond, we will be sure to inform
all of our valued customers."
As yet, there are considered to be no side effects from the rejuvenation
process; however, inquiries into Everlast and its techniques may happen,
if a case being brought before the UDA by the Shyvquoez Druids goes
through. As usual, the Stargazer will keep you right up to date!
Controversial or no, be prepared with cash on hand or use the Bank of the
Dragon should you choose to use this treatment: each year of rejuvenation
will set you back a pretty quarter million credits, and that's not
including the 2.5 million credit fee for each use of the facility.
-Q. Y. Qyennev
Xenoculture
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Anthropologists re-discover the "Picnic"
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In space, it is hard enough to standardize the daily time, let alone the
date of the year or even the season. Even so, our friendly cosmologists
tell us that we have now officially moved into summer. So, what is
happening this summer? Well, a great assortment of various cultural
activities. Along with the Spaetor Summer Tantric Mind-Meld competition,
one of the new arrivals to the festival circuit this year is the Summer
Picnic.
"We are really pleased to have over 400 picnics organized across the sector
this year. It's a great improvement on our 87 picnics last year," Domino,
council member for the Summer Picnic Society, told us on Friday. "After all
the fun everyone had last year, we decided to make the event annual, and it
has really paid off this year."
The concept of the "picnic" was rediscovered by a team of TriTeq certified
anthropologists who specialize in reestablishing patents. The picnic was a
pastime on old Earth which dates back to as early as 800 BC (Old Earth Date
Reckoning). The concept was lost sometime during the 21st century due to
unknown reasons. A picnic is, roughly stated, a meal taken in the open air.
Tigger, Chairman of the Summer Picnic Society, would add, "A picnic is much
more than just eating outdoors. It's an ethos. There are festivities and
games a plenty, not to mention a whole lot of bouncing!"
One of the most important aspects of the picnic, we are told, is the picnic
basket, and with the recent revival of the activity, we have seen the latest
brands of picnic baskets and pre-made lunches selling like hotcakes. At the
top of the market is the TriTeq Immortal Designer Series Inaugural Edition,
"Infoteq's Picnic Basket." This basket is made with the highest quality
ingredients and is hardly typical of a normal picnic basket. Using special
hyperspace technology, the basket contains everything one needs for a day
out in the sun. In fact, it's been estimated one could happily live off the
baskets contents for six solid weeks!
"We hoped to create something special for our customers this year, and in
an effort to rediscover some of the old human traditions and help other
races discover our roots, we have come up with this product," Trillian
told the Stargazer. Trillian, CEO of Public Relations for TriTeq, also
announced, "All the ingredients used in the baskets are gathered from
around the Dragon Quadrant. We've used only the highest quality products
and have taken only what local clans have produced. We at TriTeq are trying
very hard to allow clans to seamlessly work together with the corporate
sector in an effort to increase the harmony in the Dragon Quadrant."
-Lazarus 23
Editor's Note: Unfortunately, the Infoteq's Picnic Basket line was made in
limited numbers and has now sold out. TriTeq regrets if no baskets are
available, but has composed a list of ingredients and is encouraging
people to gather the pieces and make their own.
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Editorial Staff
Editor: Domino
Publishers: Infoteq, Trillian, Dranor
Reporters: Leidar Minllen, Q. Y. Qyennev, Lazarus 23
Guest Reporters: Judas N. Argwuffle, Flinn, Nek D'log
Please direct all comments to: Stargazr@dracon.net
If you wish to become a part of the Stargazer staff, please send email to:
Stargazr@dracon.net with the subject: "Stargazer Staff Application".
Please include a sample of writing over 100 words in length.
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